There’s a particular kind of hush that settles over me when you walk into a bookstore. The scent of paper, the blur of covers and titles, the low hum of curiosity. Whether it’s an indie shop tucked in an alley or a sprawling city bookstore with high ceilings and comfy chairs, something shifts the moment I come in. It’s a little bit like coming home.
That sense of instant comfort blended with curiosity has been with me forever. I was a prolific reader, happily traveling the world of thought through the pages of books. I’d pick one up and be swept into someone else’s reality, stretching my imagination and awareness.
It’s no surprise that bookstores still hold that pull for me. No matter the size or selection, they feel like home. They offer connection and grounding. A place where I can wander freely and privately explore unfamiliar ideas. It’s quiet, yes, but far from lonely.
When I browse those shelves or tuck into a cozy corner near others doing the same, I feel part of something bigger. A quiet, unspoken community. We’re not talking or debating or sharing photos of our trips for likes. We’re just there, each on our own journey, engaged in the very human act of seeking.
And that feeling of belonging, of sharing space with other people in a gentle, non-demanding way, is deeply nourishing for our brains and our hearts.
Why Our Brains Crave These Moments
According to Dr. Rick Hanson, we each have the evolutionary “gift” of negativity bias. We tend to notice what’s wrong or threatening more than what’s good. This bias helped our ancestors survive in dangerous environments, but in modern life it often causes us to feel anxious, isolated, or cynical even when things are objectively fine.
“The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” — Dr. Rick Hanson
That’s why moments in places like bookstores, concert halls, cafés or shared gardens can be so important. When we gently immerse ourselves in shared space without needing to perform or impress, we start to soften that bias. Our minds, which are constantly scanning for danger, begin to settle. We shift from what could go wrong to what’s interesting here?
The Positivity Offset
This brings us to something called the “positivity offset,” a concept that helps explain how we can shift our perception, even in neutral situations.
Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a renowned researcher in positive psychology, teaches that small moments of positive emotion can help us override our tendency to focus on the negative. She identifies ten core forms of positivity: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love. These don’t have to be huge gestures. They can emerge from a smile, a shared glance, or an idea that sparks something new in us.
Have you ever experienced interest, awe, serenity or immersion when browsing books? Maybe you stumble upon a book at the airport bookstore on a topic you’ve never considered, buy it on impulse and it opens a new door. That openness is key.
When we allow ourselves to interpret a moment as even slightly positive, it opens the door to curiosity. And curiosity invites connection with ourselves, with ideas, and even with the strangers quietly leafing through books nearby. Just like you.
This is the heart of Dr. Fredrickson’s “broaden and build” theory: positive emotions broaden our awareness and build our resilience. They make us more receptive. More capable of growth. More able to see possibilities rather than problems.
Belonging Beyond Philosophy
In the quiet open spaces like bookstores, gardens, libraries, we also find something that’s increasingly rare in modern life: a community that doesn’t require agreement. We can stand next to someone reading a book we’d never pick up ourselves, and it doesn’t matter. We’re sharing space in a way that feels peaceful and affirming.
That’s the kind of community that nourishes us. One where shared presence matters more than shared beliefs. Where our energy mingles quietly. Where we don’t have to agree to feel like we belong.
When we experience this kind of collective energy, we become more resilient. We let go of comparison, conflict, and judgment. We simply exist together.
So often, we seek belonging online or through shared ideologies. But places like bookstores remind us that belonging doesn’t have to be shouted or exclusive. Sometimes it’s just being in the same place with others who are open to ideas and willing to wander.
Bringing This Into Daily Life
You don’t have to wait for your next bookstore visit to tap into this feeling. How about trying one of these:
- Go for a walk through your neighborhood and notice the variety in which other people live
- Go to a concert hall and immerse yourself in the energy of the collective human experience
- Explore unfamiliar ideas through a podcast or article and stay open to your reaction
- Reflect on one of the ten positive emotions each evening and how you experienced it that day
These small practices help us stay grounded in a world that often pushes us to react, often without thinking at all. Bringing curiosity and openness to a shared space matters in more ways that we may realize. Try it and see.